Sunrise
by 321UnicornSlayerGoddess123
Summary: What if a certain vampire with blond hair captured Bella's eye that faithful first day of forks high? Bella goes through a lot of twists and turns but what will happen in the end? Summary sucks i know but the story is better. JASPER/BELLA
1. Forks High

Disclaimer: Twilight is property of the one and only Stephenie Meyer and not me :(

**A/N this is my very first fanfiction so no flames please**

_Preface_

Forks. Just one little word could ruin my life. Or make it one thousand times better than I ever hoped for it to be. I never believed in miracles or phenomenon's but that was before I met Jasper Hale.

Chapter 1

Forks High School

BPOV

It was raining. I guess I shouldn't have guessed more than as much but I guess I was still expecting to see the warm sunny rays that that greeted me every morning when I woke up in phoenix, but unfortunately that will never happen because I made this decision and I will stick to it. After a few minutes just staring into the window of rainy Forks, Washington I decided it was finally time to get up I didn't want to be late for my very first day at Forks High School. I decided to be casual and just put on a blue V-neck sweatshirt and some blue skinny jeans. As I walked down stairs I just made something simple and put some pop tarts in the toaster. When I was done with that I got into my truck, I liked the sound of that _my _truck. Surprisingly I actually loved it wasn't too flashy and it was just my style. Trying to find the school wasn't as hard as I thought it would be I just drove down the freeway and it was the next exit and also it was the only building in that area. As I drove into the parking lot I was relieved to see that there were other rusty cars like mine and It didn't stick out too much but that was when I noticed a shiny silver Volvo and a bright red BMW. But what really shocked me the most was the beautiful man that stepped out of it, he had wavy blond hair and smoldering, golden eyes and at that instant even though I barely even knew him, I was in love. As I got out of my car he turned and stared right at me he just looked at me until he broke into the most heartbreaking grin that I would commit to memory and walked away. I stared at him shamelessly and dumbfounded for I don't even know how long until I heard the first bell and went inside. Finding my classes wasn't that hard it was a pretty small school not even half the size of my old one in Arizona.

My first class was English with Mr. Newman and I met a girl who I think was named Jessica, she seemed nice enough so I hung out with her and this other kid Mike Newton who was starting to take on the traits of a golden retriever, not that I would ever tell him that. It seemed as though all of my classes slipped from under me and passed like a blur for it was already lunch time. I just got an apple and a sandwich that I wouldn't eat, I wasn't that hungry. As I sat down next to Jessica and mike they started talking animatedly about some show, so I decided to just let my eyes wander until I caught sight of a table with five undoubtedly gorgeous people. Once again the blond one turned to smile at me again but I blushed in embarrassment and adverted my eyes. I tapped on Jessica's shoulder and she seemed annoyed at first but then quickly cleared her face of any emotion besides curiosity of what I wanted to ask.

"Who are they?" I asked with burning curiosity. She followed where my eyes were, "Oh them? They're the Cullen's and Hales, Edward's with Alice, the short and pixie-like one and then Emmet is with Rosalie one of the blonds and then the last one is Jasper he is the only single one, but don't get your hopes up he doesn't date, no matter how hard or what I try".

I didn't think I was supposed to hear the last part of her sentence so I just pretended to act like she didn't say that. So his name was Jasper, I thought it suited him well. Before I knew it, lunch was already over so I got up and went to my next class which was Biology. But as I was walking I felt a cool hand on my shoulder and stopped right in my tracks and turned around……

_**Cliffy! So what did you think? Pretty good? Well review, review and review some more!**_


	2. Meeting

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight**

Chapter 2

Meeting

I turned around to reveal the unbelievably greek god gorgeous Jasper Hale. Since I wasn't expecting him I couldn't help but let out girlish squeak since I wasn't expecting him to be so close, well actually he was pretty far away but for some reason my senses just heightened and I was hyperaware of him right beside me, while I was mulling over this I just realized that I was still staring at him and saw that his smile was slowly starting to turn into a frown I suppose he was probably wondering why I was just standing there staring like an idiot. So I decided to speak up before he thinks I'm crazy.

"Um Hello?" It sounded more like a question than an actually statement I wasn't exactly sure why he was talking to me in the first place, Jessica said that they didn't interact with people other than themselves. He cautiously reached out his hand to me "Hi I'm Jasper Hale, your Isabella swan right?" It took me a little while to recover from the amazing sound of his voice, it sounded like wind chimes.

"Yes, that's right but you can just call me Bella, Isabella is too long and too formal." I didn't think I would really notice the dramatic difference between our voices, but I did his was musical and irresistible where as mine was just normal, and plain but for some reason he still seemed to be intrigued. "Okay, Bella then. So can I walk you to you next class?"

"Sure, I have..." I looked down at my schedule quickly since I still haven't memorized it yet, "Biology next" He smiled at me quickly than began to lead the way. Talking to Jasper was great, it seemed like he actually cared what I had to say and was really interested in my likes and dislikes, rather than just sticking with me for popularity like Jessica. When we got to the class room I was a little disappointed, I wanted to still talk to Jasper and get to know him, since we only talked about me on the walk down. When I was about to say goodbye to him, it got caught in my throat since he looked so depressed, yet still too beautiful for words, but right as I was sure that's what I was seeing he covered it up with a bright smile and said "My class is in the next building but my brother Edward is in this class with you…I'm sure he will be great company….." then he laughed again like he was enjoying some kind of private joke, "I'll see you tomorrow Bella" he waved at me as he was turning around, and gracefully strode down the hall.

As I stared after him that was when I realized that the last bell had ring and I was going to be late, and on my first day to. I just sighed and walked into my class "Ah, great to see that you decided to join us today Ms. Swan." Mr. Banner said. I blushed and went to find my seat, which was next to a beautiful pale figure with scorching gold eyes, that seemed to be getting darker at the minute but I couldn't be sure, I was pretty sure that with the amazing looks and same honey eyes that this was Jasper's brother Edward. He was beautiful I won't lie, but he was no where near what I saw in Jasper. As I took my seat it seemed that he stiffened, but I brushed that off and idly stared out that window, until Mr Banner called my name "Bella? What is the answer to the question I just asked?" I didn't know that I completely zoned out so I had know Idea what the answer was. I was blushing furiously right now and I'm sure I looked like a tomato, but luckily Edward saved my butt and whispered in my ear "The Krebs cycle" so I repeated it, and to my relief it was right, but I couldn't help but notice the annoyed look in Mr. Banner's eyes because he couldn't get me. After that little incident I decided to actually pay attention and we were doing an experiment that required partners. "Ladies first partner?" said a musical voice behind me.

"okay." The experiment wasn't that difficult since I was in advanced placement in phoenix, and I guess I was showing off a little, but unfortunately Edward had to burst my little bubble of show-offy-ness, because he didn't have a problem with the experiment either. I decided to make small talk with Edward to pass the time.

"Thanks for giving me the answer earlier, I was so embarrassed" he smiled a tight smile and simply nodded. I sighed and turned back around; I guess I wouldn't get any words out of him today. Before I knew it class was already over and it was time for me to go to gym.

I was lucky we didn't have to do anything and only had to go over directions for the next unit because I was a little bummed out and that would probably result and major head injuries from anyone who came near me, since we were working on badminton and that involved a racket.

Finally it was time to go home, and I saw Jasper waiting for me outside the gym doors greeting me with a breathtaking smile, and led me to the parking lot. "I'll see you tomorrow Bella, Have a good night" and with that he parted and we went our separate ways. When I got home I decided to make something simple like spaghetti so Charlie could just heat it up when he got home, I decided that I would go straight to bed because I was exhausted form such a long day. I wrote him a note then headed off to bed. I took a quick shower got dressed in my flannel pajamas and headed off to bed, where I had blissful dreams of my knight in shining armor, Jasper.


	3. A Confrontation

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight**

Chapter 3

A Confrontation

The next day was better….and worse. It was better because I had peaceful dreams of my one true love Jasper Hale, I loved his name, it rolled off the tongue like a well respected musical masterpiece, it described his mantra and cool and collected self, just hearing his name whether someone said it in one of their conversations or is talking to be about it, it just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy all over my body and I get butterflies in the pit of my stomach. It may sound corny or very small town-ish but it was true all the same. I guess that was one of the things I liked about Jasper, he made me feel safe and like I belonged, even though I knew I didn't, I felt wanted and cared about, even though I only have known him for a day I feel like I have known him for a lifetime and I am pretty sure he feels the same, even if we have only shared a few small, casual sentences it is still enough to make my heart soar with happiness.

Today was worse because I'm not sure why I can't really place this feeling but I felt as if there was danger near, or someone watching me, and it was something that wasn't really something I could pin point but for some strange reason I felt it when I got near Jasper or his family but as soon as Jasper was actually next to me all those feelings went away, and I felt reassured. I knew that something was up, but I thought it was too early to be making these assumptions, so I decided that I would mull over this strange feeling some other time when I was more focused and had more information to back of my thoughts. I was still in bed while I was thinking this, since I woke up early and when my alarm went off I nearly jumped out of my bed and rushed to get to my bathroom. I took a long shower since I knew I had time and I just let the water wash all the stress that had taken over me the few minutes before, and have all the peace and serenity come over me like when I was dreaming of Jasper. I quickly got dressed since I think my shower was longer than I thought it was so I pulled on a magenta camisole, a gray hoodie and some dark blue jeans, I didn't bother wearing makeup since I doubt it would do anything to enhance my other plain features. As I headed down the stairs I noticed that Charlie was gone so I guess I still had enough time to make myself a semi-nutritional breakfast and take my time. I put some toast in the toaster, fixed myself a cup of orange juice and grabbed a granola bar. It took me about ten minutes to finish my makeshift breakfast and then I headed out the door. It seemed a whole lot colder than the day before I put on a heavier jacket to make sure I didn't freeze to death, I wasn't really used to this cloudy, gloomy, depressing, annoying, inconvenient weather, but I stopped listing there because I wanted to start off my school day on a good not so I was trying not to dwell on the bad things too much.

When I pulled into the parking lot there were a few other cars there, that was good that meant I wasn't too late. As I was going to my locker I noticed someone there, and my heart sunk and sped up when I noticed the too-beautiful for words person standing there, wasn't Jasper. (A/N I was going to leave it off right there but I decided against it :)

No, that was not Jasper, it wasn't the firm masculine structure I have come to known and love but the striking, statuesque model like sister of his, Rosalie. I was very confused, why was she here instead of jasper? So as I was nearing closer to her, she checked to make sure there was no one in the halls and then she pined me to the locker brought her head down to mine in whispered in a blood curdling voice that was very menacing and just added to my bad day so far.

"You will stay away from Jasper and the rest of my family, leave us alone and if you do not do as I say then lets just say that I will make your pathetic little life a living hell" right as she was going to say something else Jasper came striding down the hallway in all his glory and saw my frightened face and hissed something too low and unintelligible for me to hear to Rosalie. She bent down and whispered in a tone that I had to strain my ears to hear "Just remember what I said and follow my directions, or else the outcome wont be very unpleasant, I can assure you" and with that being said she gracefully and lithely walked down the hall leaving me speechless.

I slowly turned to Jasper. He looked at my expression seeing all the hurt, confusion and bewilderment that relied there. While he was studying my expression I was also studying his and noticed that he was expressionless, understanding and pained all mixed into one striking emotion that made me remain silent. Then he quietly spoke.

"I am truly very sorry for my sister's behavior, she can be a little rough around the edges at first but she should warm up to you in no time" he gave a forced weak smile and waited for my response. "I don't think I am willing to take that risk of getting to know her Jasper, but in the meantime I have to get to class, I guess I will see you later" and with no glance back at him I strode down the hallway to my next class, fighting tears the whole way there.

In trig I think Jessica noticed that I was definitely not in the mood to talk about some random that I didn't even care about. Mike on the other hand apparently didn't get the memo and tried to talk to me, after awhile I just ignored him. But when It was time for lunch he was still persistent and so I had to speak up, "Mike, in case you haven't noticed but I am definitely not in the mood to hear your annoying voice babble all day in my ear, so if you could be so kind and refrain from talking to me, thank you" and I turned back around but I couldn't help but hear the little huff that escaped his mouth.I smirked, he brought it on himself he should have just left me alone. At least I finally got the message through his head. As I was sitting there I let my eyes wander and saw the Cullen's at the table they sat at yesterday, but something was missing or rather someone.

Yes everyone was there except for Jasper and right at that moment Rosalie turned to look at me no, not look but gave me a menacing glare. The smirk immediately vanished from my face, and that one little look from her did it, I had enough and a little tear dripped down my face I also saw that Emmett, Rosalie's boyfriend gave her a reproving look, Edward looked at me with pity and Alice looked deeply concerned, I didn't know why I mean I barely knew her. So with that thought, I quickly stood up, and all the people at the table looked at me, with curiosity and then pity when they saw my tear streaked face. I rushed to the front office.

"Ms. Cope could I leave early I feel very faint" She looked at me with concern then nodded her head. I quickly took off; I couldn't believe my day was already spiraling down in a ghastly whirlwind of destruction. I was crying the whole way to my house, and when I got there all I wanted to do was curl up and die, the rain wasn't helping either. But when I got to the door I looked into my pocket took out my key and pushed the door open but then I heard a movement and then an anxious voice call my name, "Bella?" I looked up and was surprised by who I saw. "A-Alice?" but before i could really comprehend anything i fainted and was surrounded into a black abyss of nothingness.

**A/N I bet you didn't see that coming :) well I hope this chapter was good, but review and tell me what you think, and if you have any tips to make it better than you could PM me, but in the meantime I will hopefully be updating every other day.**


	4. Revealed

**Disclaimer: Twilight is Stephenie Meyer's not mine.**

Chapter 4

Revealed

I had no idea where I was, all I remember was the darkness that overcame me when I saw Alice in my house, waiting for me. I wonder why she was there, and how did she even know where I live? As I was pondering this I heard voices around me.

"Alice is she going to be okay?" asked and anxious voice I was pretty sure it was Jasper's no ones voice could sound s sweet as his, I'm pretty sure I could pin point it anywhere if someone asked me to do so. "Relax Jasper she should wake up in about 45 seconds" I think that was Alice's voice from what I remember when she called my name earlier, it sounded like wind chimes, a beautiful sound and comforting sound that was just like Jasper's but yet different at the same time, it also sounded happy, unlike Rosalie's which was menacing and frightened me to no end. Then there was another voice, it was Edward's and he almost sounded annoyed or frustrated I couldn't be sure, I don't even know why he doesn't like me, I didn't do anything to him. "Why did you bring her here Alice? Now we will surly have to explain things to her, and that might get us in trouble with the Volturi." Who was the Volturi? And what did they want to tell me? As all these questions were bubbling up inside me I knew I needed answers and I needed them now so right at that moment I sat up and my eyes fluttered open.

"Where am I, and what happened?" I asked in a some what delirious voice, I was very confused and needed to know what was going on. "Well, Bella, Alice tells me that you fainted and so she decided to bring you here tour home so that I could make sure that you were okay, and we also need to explain some things to you, but I think that we can wait a little later for that" said a kind, friendly and beautiful voice that I did not recognize, but since it sounded so full of authority I think that it had to be Jasper's father, I think he said that his name was Carlisle. He was studying my expression and I think all he probably saw there was confusion; I don't think he was willing to say anything more at the moment.

"Okay, I just have a few more questions though." He smiled at me and then said "Alice and Jasper should be able to answer your questions, and if you need anything then just call my name and I will try to help you any way I an." He gave me a small smile then disappeared up the stairs, I stared after him with my mouth agape, how were they all so graceful and beautiful, when I was just so plain? I turned to Alice, and she didn't look too optimistic as she did before I wonder why, well Carlisle said that they would answer my questions so I might as well start asking. "Alice why were you in my house?" she looked a little uneasy as she was going to answer, but then I felt all this serenity swirl around me and it seemed to affect Alice as well, I also noticed that she gave Jasper a thankful smile and then turned back to me, I would have to ask her about that later but for now I'll just listen for what she had to say.

"Well, I knew that this would happen, and I wanted to make sure that you were okay, so after you left I followed you but then, I saw your decision of where you were going and that's how I got to your house, and how I got there before you did. But when I was about to ask you if you were okay you fainted so I brought you back here to my house since Carlisle is a doctor and I wanted to see if he could help you." I just stared at her, open mouthed, and extremely confused, how could she know what was going to happen and what my decisions where? She saw all the wonder, disbelief and confusion on my face then she bit her bottom lip and continued.

"You see Bella, I can see premonitions, and future actions of what people are going to do based on the decisions that they make. I know it is hard to believe but it is true all the same. I noticed you saw and felt the peace and serenity that engulfed you a little earlier, well that was the doing of Jasper, he can feel and manipulate emotions and that's why I was giving him that thankful smile." I was still very confused and nothing was making sense anymore, sure I had my answers, but it didn't make sense why they could do these things.

Then I remembered from this morning when I realized that I felt on edge whenever I was near them and then when that feeling went away when I was near Jasper. Now it made sense, of why I suddenly felt comforted around him. But that still didn't explain why I felt like danger was near, when I was around them, why they were all so graceful and heartbreakingly beautiful, why they always mad me feel so insignificant around them, and why they seemed to be a whole lot dangerous than I really expected. Little did I know that all my questions would be answered would be answered in the next sentence that Alice said.

"Bella, me Jasper and my whole family….are vampires"

This was way too much information and I couldn't take it. But before I could even do anything about it, darkness swirled around me and unfortunately this feeling was starting to get a little too familiar.

This was weird. Why do I keep fainting? Or maybe this is all some dream that I am having, or maybe it's some sick practical joke that they are trying to play on me. As I thought over that reason it didn't seem likely, the Cullen's were too nice to do anything like that. This time when I woke up, there were no voices that made me fill up with suspicion and curiosity or anyone that I could see. And that was when I realized that I was in my room. Hmm maybe I was right and it was all a dream. But of course I turned out to be wrong when I saw Jasper in my rocking chair with his heads in his hands.

"Jasper?" he looked up and gave me a weak smile. I think he was trying to be strong for me to make sure that I could trust him. I knew he wanted to stay but I really needed time to think over this and what I was going to do, so I did the thing that seemed the best way to handle this at the moment. "Jasper could you please leave? I really need some time to think about things and when I decide what I am going to I will tell you." I said softly as I was fiddling with my fingers I really wouldn't be able to look at the hurt on his face if I looked at him. I didn't hear anything at first but then I felt a breeze and he was gone.

I sighed. I really didn't want to hurt him. But what was I supposed to do when you find out the man you love is a mythical creature? Jump around singing show tunes like it's the most natural thing in the world? Well I couldn't do that, not now and I don't know if I will be able to get over it, but as they say; only time can tell. It was dark outside and I felt drained and exhausted, I think it was because of me fainting twice today and all the information that I just took in, really depleted a lot of my strength so I took my shower and let the warm water massage me. Then I put on some gray sweats and pink camisole and went to bed. I think in time I will be able to deal with all this drama but for now I just need a good night sleep. With that thought I turned off my lights and lied down. I was sure that tomorrow with a fresh new start that I would have my answer of what I needed to do, and I know that it will be for the best.

**A/N I hope you liked this chapter :) It took me awhile to decide how I wanted Bella to react but I think that this was a good way. Once again tips are welcome :) **


	5. Weights

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight **

Chapter 5

Weights

The next day I felt as if a giant weight was lifted from my shoulders. I finally knew what Jasper was hiding, I finally knew why I always felt on edge near them, and I finally knew why I always felt safe and protected near Jasper. But what I didn't know was why Rosalie hated me, why Edward hated me, and why they would get in trouble with this Volturi that they speak of. Yes even thought I got the biggest piece of the pie figured out, there were still a lot of the ingredients that needed to be added. After I was done thinking that thought I just let it drop dead, making food analogies with this subject was pretty stupid on my part, so I just let my musings travel towards a different subject. For instance what was I going to do with Jasper? I mean what if all t his time he was just manipulating my emotions? Once I again I let that thought die, Jasper was definitely not the kind of person that would do that, maybe Mike but definitely not Jasper.

Out of nowhere I just started to laugh, the whole situation was just a little funny, because I lived in a big city and nothing ever happened to me but, when I move to a town that isn't even ¼ the size of Phoenix, I have to deal with vampires. The whole situation really was outrageously comical; most girls would die for the chance with the mysterious Jasper Hale, and swoon over him all the time like he was some lottery prize, when really he was so much more. But with me, I wasn't like other girls and I still had to think about this, if I gave him my heart how would I know he wouldn't break it? Once again, for the third time this morning, I had to let that thought die and nearly slapped myself; of course he wouldn't do that, if anything that would be the last thing he would do, because from the looks of it he seemed pretty hell bent of protecting me.

I decided that I would let this huge weight rest on my shoulders later because I was still exhausted, emotionally and physically and needed some 'me' time where I could just relax. So what better way to do that then with a nice hot bath? So I grabbed my toiletries and headed for the bathroom. I also brought my iPod speakers so that I could listen to some classical music that would definitely help with the calming process. The water was still running when I heard the phone ring. I gave an annoyed sigh and grumpily treaded my way down the stairs, who would be calling someone at 10 in the morning on a weekday? They should either be at school or at work, that was what I thought until I looked out the window and it was sunny, so only it would be one of my vampire friends. Oh joy, I thought. I try to take a bath trying to figure out what to say to them, when they beat me to it and end up calling me. I sighed once again and went to get the phone. "Hello?" I waited a few minutes before I hung up the phone. That was strange there was no one there, I gave a grumpy _harrumph _and headed back upstairs but when I was in the middle of the stair case the shrill ring of the phone sounded and I just stared at it for a while before I sighed and went to get it again.

"Hello?" I asked, still slightly annoyed, "Bella? Are you okay are you safe?" said the frantic and twinkling voice of Alice. "Yes I'm fine Alice why?" She sounded uneasy for a moment then, it was quiet again and I thought she hung up, but then she started talking again and this time it was more calm, and peppy like her usual self. "Never mind Bella I had a vision and it turned out everything is just fine, we are going shopping in 30 minutes and I will pick you up. Get ready, I don't want to wait a long time for you." Before I could even complain the line on the phone already went dead. I looked at the phone incredulously, how could she just do that? Just randomly decide to take me shopping. Guess she couldn't see yesterday that I would not be in the mood to shop, right now or ever really. Shopping was not one of my favorite pass times, my mom always made fun of me that I needed to live more loosely and get my head out of the books and in to the clouds. I laughed at the memory, and I started to miss her. But I couldn't dwell on that too long since apparently I had to go shopping. I groaned and trudged upstairs and into the restroom. There wasn't enough time for a nice relaxing bath, so I just took a shower and let the warm water wash over me, I sighed in pure ecstasy this was what I needed, even if this feeling of relaxation was only a little it still lifted my spirits enough to endure Alice's sudden shopping spree.

I cut the water off, grabbed a towel dried myself out and headed back to my room, where I decided since I was going to the mall I might as well look decent, so I put on my favorite purple v-neck t-shirt with a light red jacket over it and then light wash, blue skinny jeans and to top it off some of my, black dolce and gabbana flips flops that my mom got me for my birthday last year. I straightened my hair and put some of it back and had a clip on it. I put on some light makeup, just some brown eyeliner and some light blush, and then congratulated myself in the mirror; I actually looked fit to got to the mall. I did a little happy dance in my head then heard the doorbell ring, I grabbed my purse and headed down stairs to greet Alice and meet my torture. When I answered the door she appraised my outfit then said "You look presentable. Let's go!" and much to my chagrin it wasn't sunny out anymore so we still had to go, I bet she predicted this. I let out a sigh and muttered a bit before we got into her Porsche and sped off to Seattle.

Shopping with Alice really wasn't that bad, dare I say, it was even fun. Even though I hate shopping she made it fun because we talked about everything, like we have be best friends for the longest of times when in reality we have only known each other for a few short weeks. Even though I enjoyed it, I wouldn't tell her that, so the whole time I put on a little whiny show, this wouldn't go to her head and make her take me on more shopping trips. Even though I liked spending time with her I still don't like people spending money on me. When we finally got back to my house she turned to me, turned the radio down and I noticed her face was more serious than it was before when we were joking about something.

"Bella, Jasper needs to talk to you. And I am not delivering this message from him, but simply telling you since he is too big of a chicken to do it himself. You will have to do it soon before he starts to think that you hate him because you and I both know that is not the case." And with that she turned back around and I got out of the car since she drives like a maniac and we were here already. "Bye, Alice I'll talk to Jasper soon" she just smiled at me and then smoothly pulled out of the driveway.

I gave on big breath, at least I had one big weight lifted off of me but I still need to deal with Jasper. I was still standing by the door when the phone rang, 'the phone sure is ringing a lot today' I thought, and then went to answer it. "Hey, Bells. I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to stay at Billy's for dinner, so you don't have to cook tonight. I should be back around 10:00, see you soon Bella. Bye" he already hung up before I could give him my parting words. I guess he didn't feel like talking today, I just shrugged then I got hit with a great idea. I could invite Jasper over and we could talk about things so I could finally get weight number 2 off my shoulder. I called the his house and Jasper answered I guess Alice told him I would be calling. "Hello?" his velvet voice answered, I never knew could miss it so much. "Hi Jasper? Its Bella I wanted to know if you wanted to come over for a bit so that we could talk about things, and just for the record I don't hate you" I smiled as I said that, who in their right mind could hate someone as sweet and thoughtful as Jasper? It should be a crime for anyone to do so. "That would be great Bella, I will see you in 5 minutes, Bye" five minutes? I knew he was a vampire and had some crazy fetish about driving fast but that was still fast, but I guess he could just be running, that would get him much faster.

I guess I was thinking over this, much longer than I thought because I suddenly heard to doorbell ring. I shocked out of my stupor put on a brave face got my emotions in check and went to answer the door. As I did so I finally felt complete just looking into his eyes and then I knew my answer, there was no way I could stay away from him anymore, not now, not ever. I couldn't stand the distance between us and I ran into and wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my head in his chest, I missed him so much. "I missed you so much, Jasper. You have no idea how much." I spoke my thoughts and then he was stiff at first but then a big smile broke out across his face and he wrapped his arms around me, held me close to his chest and inhaled my scent. I liked how I fit perfectly in his arms like they were made for me and only me. Then I looked back up to him, and said the three words that he needed to hear and the three words that I also needed to say. "Jasper, I love you" I didn't even get to hear his response since he very gently pressed his cold lips on my warm ones, pulled away brought his mouth to my ear and whispered in a voice that made my legs go limp, and I'm sure I would have fallen if he wasn't holding me up. "Bella I love you too. More than anything you could possibly imagine" and with that he brought his lips down to my own again, and at that moment everything was perfect, and the weight was finally lifted, but no matter how hard I wished it not to be true, we still had a bunch of things to talk about and nothing is ever perfect for ever. But for right now I would just enjoy the time that I have with him.

**A/N Yay! They are together again. But how long will it last? I still need some ideas on what to do for the next chapter so review! **


	6. Almost Perfect

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

Chapter 6

Almost Perfect

I was in pure bliss. His cold arms were wrapped around my warm thin waist and I knew that Jasper finally felt the same way as I did, and I finally knew what I would do about Jasper and his family….I would just deal with it, I didn't care anymore, if anything that made it easier to love Jasper. The fact that my beautiful marble creature could have anyone, vampire or human in the world that would be better than me, he picked me, and chose to love me, flaws and clumsiness and all my imperfections. That just showed how much he really loved me and how good his heart was and just his essence, it emanated perfection anyone who was near him would just feel at ease and charmed if they gave him the chance to be charming, he didn't even have to use his powers on anyone for them to feel at ease. And to be honest, everything was perfect…..almost.

There was still so much that I had to do, like talk to him about everything and find out some other answers to my questions that I had. I decided that now was a good time to wake up, and this time I would take a bath without any interruptions, but of course something will probably come up, but I'm going to take my chances anyway. Jasper heard the difference in my breathing and knew I was awake. "Good morning, my beautiful Bella." I blushed in embarrassment he was obviously blind if he thought that I was beautiful, he had it the other way around. He was the one that was too beautiful for words and I could never compare, but if I tried to tell him that he would just ignore me.

I stretched then buried my face in Jasper's chest and breathed in his scent, he smelled like no cologne I have ever smelt and it was absolutely mouthwatering, his scent could calm me almost as well as he could himself. I sighed and spoke in a groggily voice "I really need a bath" and then I yawned. He chuckled at how tired I sounded and I grunted, not all of us could sound as irresistible as he could. "Would you like me to run your bath water and serve you breakfast?" he asked. And he also sounded a little nervous, like I would say no. As if I could decline an offer like that! "Really? Would you?" he just nodded.

I was just so excited by this little fact that I carelessly threw myself on him and kissed him with all of my might. He was definitely surprised by my sudden display of affection but he didn't seem angry and kissed me back. I got a goofy grin on my face and pulled away. "That was wonderful. Jasper you are too good to me." He smiled then brought his mouth to me nose and kissed it lightly; I let out a very girly girlish giggle, and then started to laugh hysterically, why was I suddenly so giddy? Then I figured out that he was altering my emotions and I sat straight up and tried my best to glare at him, but I was still a little giggly. "Jasper that is not fair. You can't use your powers on me anymore. Now go run my bath, make me breakfast and make yourself useful." I tried to make say that in my best commanding voice, but was still teasing I didn't want to be too meant o him.

"Yes ma'am." And he used his southern accent with it too and it was even better sounding than his regular voice, it nearly made me melt. He laughed at me sudden response kissed my cheek then got up. I just sat there in my bed just thinking about things. I wondered what other cool things these crazy vampires could do. It seemed as thought they were perfect in every single way and I could never compare to them. I frowned I wish I could always be with him and be just as perfect as he was, so we could actually look like equals.

"Bella? Your bath is ready" Jasper's sweet voice called, I turned to look at him, frown still in place. I stared at his perfection and suddenly got a giant burst of sadness, but tried to quickly cover it up. It was no use he already felt my drastic change in emotional state. He looked confused on what could make me so sad. "Bella what's wrong?" I couldn't tel him right now, he would probably think I' vain and all I care about looks, but that wasn't just that, it was everything he was too good for me and we weren't even in the same category, nevertheless both being considered equals.

"I can't tell you Jasper, I'm sorry" I said softly I really was sorry he could sense that I really wanted to tell him, but couldn't and his face grew very soft and he walked towards me, lifted my face and brought his lips to my own and kissed me tenderly but only for a moment then sat down next to me and wrapped his arms around me. He brought his mouth to me ear to whisper something, which I'm sure any girl would love to hear their boyfriends say. "Bella, you know that you can tell me anything. I'm not going to force you to tell me anything but I just want you to know that whatever it is that you can tell me and no matter how horrible it is I would never judge you, because I love you and that will never change. Nothing you could do or feel would change the way I feel about you Bella, just remember. I will be down stairs to make your breakfast and if you need anything just call my name." with that being said he gracefully left my room and headed downstairs.

I stared after him, how I could possibly deserve him, I have no idea. He really was too perfect for words. I sighed again and got up, grabbed my toiletries and went to the bathroom. As I headed in I gave and audible gasp. There were rose pedals all over the floor and in the tub then there was a note by the sink, I picked it up, and it read:

_Dear Bella,_

_I hope this bath will relax you enough, so that you can tell me what's on your mind, but if not I hope that you enjoy yourself, you need it and I know that you have been under a lot of stress. So hopefully this will lift your spirits._

_Love,_

_Jasper_

He was so romantic. I was still in shock that he did all of this, how could he do this so fast? Then I mentally slapped myself, he was a vampire what couldn't he do? So I carefully got into the water, making my best effort not to trip, but of course I wasn't so lucky and I slipped in to the tub with a very loud splash. I groaned couldn't I do one thing perfectly without being a klutz? Apparently I couldn't. I laughed out of nowhere again at the irony of the situation, I have this perfect vampire that would do anything I told him to and he would do it perfectly, but i wanted to do it all myself. Yes, I have said this before and I will say it again. Jasper is too good to me, and I love him to bits and pieces. I soaked in the tub and was perfectly relaxed when I heard a knock at the door. I was slightly annoyed by that but then instantly regretted it, how could I feel that way towards him when he did all this for me? So I politely said "Come in Jasper" he slowly came in but he couldn't see me since I was covered in bubbles, I waited for him to start talking, but he didn't say anything. "I started to get self conscious with him just standing there so I blushed and looked everywhere except his eyes.

He started to notice that his attention was not on what he came in here to say and looked down, I'm sure if he was still human than he would be blushing too. He cleared his throat and looked at my face this time. He seemed to be nervous and I could tell that he was anxious, and was trying to keep his emotions in check so that it wouldn't affect me. But his attempt were vain, the fact that I knew that's what he was trying to do made me anxious and I wanted him to start talking already so, that the suspense wouldn't kill me. He started talking trying to make his voice sound calm but I saw right through that. It was a little scary how well I knew him and what his bodily actions meant and that I actually noticed them. When I have only known him for a short amount of time, and could tell so much about him.

"Bella, Alice called and said that there are some... of our kind coming and that we need to go back to our house as soon as we can I'm sorry that this is bothering your time for relaxation. But I will make sure you are safe first, and then I will also make sure you get his time back." I noticed he truly looked sorry for this ruining my 'me' time, so I asked if I could have some privacy to get dressed and everything, he nodded and left me by myself. I sighed why do all the fruitless attempts at me having some relaxation, get ruined by annoying vampires? No offense to Alice or anything. I sighed once again then got up and went to my room to get dressed.

There really wasn't any point for me to get dressed up like I was the other day so I just put so PINK black sweats and a white tank top, and put my hair in a messy bun. As I walked down the stairs I noticed Jasper on my couch head in his hands. I saw him like this before and I surely did not like it. I mad my way over to him and sat on his lap and laid my head on his chest. He eventually wrapped his arms around me and buried his face into my hair. Then he spoke and his voice seemed somewhat back to normal, and I smiled, I hoped that I was the reason he seemed to be back to normal. It wasn't that I was being egotistical but it was just that he always cheers me up and makes me smile and I just want to be able to the same for him, so that we could be _somewhat_ equal.

"You have enough to enjoy your breakfast, I hope I did a good job" I never really noticed how hungry I really was until he mentioned breakfast, and on cue my stomach grumbles. He chuckled then lifted me on his back, ignoring my whines and complains for him to put me down. He set me in the chair by the table and brought over my food, it looked delicious; it was waffles eggs and a orange. I gave him an appreciative smile and he felt my gratitude and simply nodded.

While I was eating I was seriously surprised. He was an awesome cook, I think he was a better cook than I was and he didn't even eat human food. Also he laughed at me because of all the happiness I was emanating; I tried my hardest to be annoyed at him but still couldn't cover up the happiness and gratitude I felt towards him. When we were about to leave I slipped on some flip flops and he picked me up again, bridal style this time, and once again he ignored my attempts and shouts for him to put me down. He wouldn't even let me drive my own car instead he decided to try running.

I never wanted to do that again. It was so dizzying and uncomfortable and by the end of the trip which was all of, 3 minutes I believe. I was sure I would puke. He was concerned and took me to Carlisle who said that I would be fine if I just rested for a few minutes. I groaned and put my head between my legs to let the ringing in my ears pass. When the ringing was only distant I looked back up at him, he had and amused smile plastered on his face and gave a childish _humph _and he laughed again at my childish antics.

Then he spoke some words I definitely didn't want to hear right now. "I hope you don't react that way next time." I looked up at his face and frowned "There is going to be a next time?" I asked in a disbelieving tone, he simply nodded and I groaned again. Then while we were waiting for everyone to gather for the meeting that needed to take place because of these unwelcomed vampires, there was only one thought on my mind,' at least today was _almost _perfect'.

**A/N i still need reviews and any ideas people have :)**


	7. Because I want you

**Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Twilight**

Chapter 7

Because I Want You

I was slightly anxious. I'm sure I would actually be very anxious if Jasper wasn't using his power on me to try to keep me sane, and calm. Its not like I was trying to be so hyper and just plain anxious. How was I supposed to act when there were non-vegetarian vampires coming? So that's what I was doing, I was sitting in the Cullen's family room while Alice was in a vision and Edward was concentrating really hard on something but I'm not really sure what exactly, to be honest it was kind of freaky. Also Rosalie was acting indifferent but every time I managed to make eye contact with me she would glare daggers at me, and at that moment the saying that went through my head was 'if looks could kill' I shuddered and looked away. Then there was a woman that I haven't et before and she looked very kind and nurturing, she was looking at all her 'children' with a loving glance and when I caught her eye, she smiled and gave me that same look, so even when I didn't belong I really felt like I did. After that one very small moment of affection from Esme I think that was her name, I went right back to trying not to rip my hair out from all these emotions, and inner turmoil coursing through me.

Before I actually went crazy I went back to noticing the small things around the room. Jasper was looking at me with love and concern deep in his honey colored eyes. It was like he was staring into my soul and I, his. I guess any normal person would think it was very unusual for someone to notice such small things about someone and decifer what each little small movement meant but as any normal person could see, I wasn't even in the same caliber of normal. My mother always told me that I was in my own little world, and sometimes I really think that's true, I mean how many people do you know have to deal with vampires that have really strange and unique vampire powers? I could answer that for any sane person, no one.

Once again I was back to what was going on in the room. And also I was still staring into the eyes of Jasper. I didn't know that I could get that lost in his eyes; Ii must have been zoned out for a good five minutes or more because Jasper was looking at me with a furrowed motion in his perfect, neat eyebrows and he looked very concerned. I ignored his look and turned my gaze away to Emmett. Was he always so…big? He had the body structure of a body builder, yet he didn't even have to work out, being a vampire he was strong and muscular by default. Emmett caught me staring, or ogling really and flashed me a suggestive smile, Rosalie saw this and slapped him across the head. He just laughed whole heartedly and brought her on his lap, she squeaked in surprise then when she remembered I was watching in amusement she returned to her indifferent self. I smiled, it was nice how close this family was, and in some ways, I wouldn't tell jasper because he would immediately deny it, but sometimes I feel out of place like Jasper belongs to someone else besides me. I didn't want to continue on that though, being away from Jasper for any length of time was ultimately depressing for me.

Finally Alice snapped back into reality and looked back up at everyone. My panic immediately shot into overdrive and I'm sure everyone could the unsteady rhythm of my heart beating. I noticed at the corner of my eye, that Carlisle flashed me a quick concerned glance then quickly turned away, to hide his own self turmoil. Apparently during my frantic and unhelpful, for Jasper's situation, panic attack I completely missed what Alice said so I was completely confused and I looked at Alice and Jasper, though they quickly covered it up into a blank face, I could clearly see the panic that relied there just a moment ago. I felt really embarrassed and ashamed, for making Alice to have to repeat what she said, since apparently going by the expressions on everyone's faces it definitely wasn't something that anyone wanted to hear again, but I had to know so I could find at least some way to help, I knew I couldn't do much since I was only human but I still wanted to be included.

"Alice, what did you see?" she turned to look at me with the sound of my voice. Then she sighed and everyone left the room except for her, Edward, me and Jasper. Edward looked annoyed; I would have to talk to him about that later, but right now I needed to focus on the matter at hand. "Well I saw that some of our kind, were coming. I think they are just curious," it was obvious she didn't have much faith in her suggestion but she continued. "But regardless they are supposed to be here in a few hours, tops. So we will hide you here and make sure your safe. Me, Emmett, Jasper and Edward will make sure you are safe and no harm comes to you. But if thing come to a fight then we might need to evacuate you." She finished with a solemn voice. I frowned I didn't want them to be in danger. Then at that precise moment, Edward went into a huff and exited to living room to go to his bedroom. I furrowed my brow in confusion. I needed to get to the bottom of this.

"I'm going to go check up on Edward, we have got to settle this matter, because he will have to get used to me being here, whether he likes it or not." I got up to leave but not before I saw the corner of Jaspers lip twitch into a crooked grin and then Alice show an amused smile, I suppose she saw what would happen. I also heard the booming laugh of Emmett upstairs and with that I headed up the stairs. Thanks to the tour Jasper gave me earlier I knew where I was going. I headed to the farthest room on the right from the third story floor, put on a brave face then feebly knocked on the door.

"Come in Bella." He sounded strangely calm and sighed. I guess he was expecting this sooner or later. I walked in and sat on the couch across from his bed. Then I was confused, why would they need beds if they can't even sleep? I almost smacked myself for my stupidity and I blushed a deep scarlet red when I realized what it indeed was for. Edward looked up at me, with a mixture of emotions on his face, ranging from curiosity to, amusement to finally the too original frustration. I had to quickly advert my eyes from him so that I wouldn't completely drown in my embarrassment.

"Look Edward I didn't come in here to make a fool of myself so I'm going to get straight to the point." He gave me a rare smile and it was good encouragement for me to keep going. I took a deep breath then, continued but I looked away from his face. "Edward I want to know why you hate me so much, or why you are in a good mood then when I come into the room you get moodier than a hormonal pregnant woman. Or why you're always so frustrated at me. I didn't even do anything. Have you even considered that you always acting so cold to me hurt my feelings? Because it does." Then I couldn't help the small tear that worked my way down my face. I felt horrible and I didn't realize how much him hating me hurt me. Then before I knew it Edward carefully came and wrapped his arms around me, I cried into his chest and he rubbed comforting, soothing circles on the small of my back. I breathed a ragged breath and looked back up at him, then before I even could comprehend what was happening he leaned forward and kissed me. This could not be happening! I loved Jasper and I would remain faithful, and what was he doing? He had Alice, and he always acted cold to me why the sudden attitude change? Then I realized I was still kissing him back and I quickly pulled away from him. I got up and moved to the bed and wrapped my arms around myself. Then I got more tears in my eyes. How could he do this? I already had enough problems. I had to worry about Jasper and Alice, the vampires that were coming and now Edward. I frowned and looked up at Edward.

"Why did you do that Edward?" I asked softly, and my voice sounded so small and unsure, I hated it. "Because I want you." He said simply. I made and audible gasp and looked at him, he had the same look that Jasper gave me. _No no no no and no, this can not be happening, _I thought. Then I looked back up at him frown still I place. "What about Alice Edward? Did you think of how much this would hurt her? And what about your family did you think how that would affect him?" He thought about that for a while then instantly frowned. I laughed a bitter, humorless laugh. I guess he didn't figure this out. Once again I looked up at him. "Edward you can't love me, you just can't it's not right, it can never be. I love Jasper not you Edward, I'm so very sorry." I said in the softest voice I could manage, I really did not want to hurt him.

I really didn't want to look up at his face and see all the pain, but apparently I was starting to turn into a masochist. So I looked up, big mistake, very big mistake. His facial expression was even worse than I thought It would be, he looked so sad, it was truly heartbreaking. I'm sure that if he could cry than he surely would be bawling his eyes out. I went up to comfort him, I couldn't just do not do anything; it wasn't in my nature, to just sit back and let people get hurt, I had to find some way to help him. When I got closer to him I wrapped my arms around him. But he stopped me. "Don't Bella, please don't." and with that being said he quickly before my eyes could even register what happened he vanished and I was all by myself. I sighed a long depressed sigh and made my way back down the stairs. That was when I remembered something. Esme would surely be able to help me, as nurturing and motherly as she is. I walked into her and Carlisle's room it was a beige color and had a desk in the right corner of the and in the left corner of the room was a nice leather recliner where Carlisle sat reading one of his medical volumes. Esme was sitting on the bed with her legs crossed reading a home decorater magazine.

They both looked curious as to what I was doing in there room but they smiled in welcome nonetheless. "Can I please talk to you Esme?" I asked and my voice still sounded broken from all of the crying I did earlier. She looked deeply concerened but nodded and followed me out the room. I walked into their office so we could have some privacy. I heard her come quietly in behind me and she quietly closed the door behind her and came by my side. I didn't even have enough time to start the calming process and get my self together enough for me to speak properly before I dropped to the ground and cried. I cried for all the messed up problems I had and how nothing seems to go right. I cried for Alice and the rest of the family that would have to suffer from Edwards actions and then I cried for myself, why did this have to happen to me? I heard Esme gasp quietly and softly mutter "Oh dear." Then she dropped down to my level took me in her cold arms and rocked me back in forth like my mom used to do when I was upset or sad.

I ruined another shirt today, perfect. I finally calmed myself down enough for me to speak to her. "I'm sorry I ruined your shirt Esme." I gave out another humorless laugh. She laughed with me but hers was whole hearted, I guess she was glad that she could make me stop crying. "Its okay dear, I'm just glad your stating to feel better, your pulse is even back to a steady beat, so why don't you tell me what's wrong and I will try to help you in any way I can." She sounded so sincere and loving; I really didn't deserve this family not in the slightest. I sniffled then straightened up, took a deep breath, because I would definitely need it and I started to tell her.

"Well when I was going to ask Edward why he had a problem with me, I started to cry since I realized how much he really hurt me, then he came and gave me a comforting hug, or so I thought. But then when I finally calmed down enough and was going to thank him, he kissed me. When I asked him why he did that he said it was because he wanted me and then he gave me that special look that Jasper always gives me. So I don't know what I'm supposed to do when two great people love me. And since they are both your 'sons' I thought that you would be able to help with my problem, and the best way to solve it."

She patiently waited and listened to what I had to say and rubbed soothing circles on my back, and wiped away the few tears that escaped my eyes while I was explaining. Then she finally spoke, and to my surprise and relief she wasn't angry, but understanding. "Well Bella who do you love more?" and I thought about that then realized that I loved both of them, I frowned I really wish this wasn't happening to me. "Both" she nodded then gave me an encouraging smile and continued. "then tell them Bella, I'm sure they will understand."

I smiled. That's just what I needed to do. And as I came to my epiphany the three words Edward had said to me flashed in my mind. _Because I want you. _It was so simple and made so much sense, but I was interrupted from my thoughts when I heard the doorbell ring, and then a feral snarl….

**A/N I know I just couldn't resist I had to make some drama between Edward and Bella. Also the chapter title was inspired by the song Because i want you by Placebo. Well review!!**


	8. The Taste of Ink

Disclaimer: Ha-ha I own twilight

**Disclaimer: Ha-ha I own twilight! Actually I don't, but its fun to pretend :) **

Chapter 8

The Taste of Ink

I was deeply frustrated. Why did the unwelcomed vampires have to come ruin my very important epiphany? If I was strong enough and could manage this without killing myself then I would surely march down the stairs and give them a piece of my mind but of course I'm human and they are vampires so I practically automatically lose by default. I frowned as I just remembered the thing that has been bugging me for the past month that I have known Jasper and his family, the fact that they always make me feel insignificant and like I down belong, even more so than everybody else does. I know that they don't do this on purpose but still bothers me. I wished that I could be Jasper's….and Edward's equal, but I'm not. While I was thinking over this with a permanent frown on my face Esme, moved my unresponsive self to the dining room where Edward, Jasper and Alice were.

I figured things were set that way so that, Esme since she just left the room, Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie could talk some sense into the nomads. I looked back around the dining room, which they didn't use. It was a shame since it was really nice. But as I my eyes were wandering they landed on Alice. She was in a vision, no one was watching her except me, Jasper was watching me and so was Edward but his eyes reflected jealousy, I guess I he was hiding his emotions pretty well if Jasper couldn't tell his hidden feelings. Alice came out of her face with a mixture of emotions plastered on it. I noticed confusion, sadness, betrayal, anger then finally acceptance. Her eyes locked with my own and this time she was showing no emotion on her flawless face, then she quietly left the room as if she knew that it was not her place to be there.

I looked at the spot where she last was, I was confused what did she see? Well it was obvious that it was something that she knew would happen, but didn't want it to happen, but accepted it nonetheless. Then I had a burst of intuition. The anger, the betrayal and the sadness; She knew about Edwards feelings for me and decided to just deal with it. Alice really was a great person, and I am beyond thankful for her.

I turned my attention back to what was happening in the room. It had a very thick feel to the room; it was extremely touchy-feely and awkward. I decided to make being in this room a little bit less uncomfortable and sighed. Then I put on a brave face, even when I was anything but brave at the moment. "Jasper, Edward we have to talk." Jasper squeezed my hand in encouragement which made Edward shoot him daggers of jealousy with his eyes; I gave a deep breath and started to begin.

"Well I know that both of you love me and," I stopped mid sentence by Jasper's confused glance, and I sighed I would have to explain this from the beginning. "Well Jasper this is what happened earlier, I will have to explain considering how confused you look," I gave a bitter laugh and continued once again. "As I was going upstairs earlier to see why Edward hated me so much," I stopped again and saw the grimace and the pain and the shame that flashed across Edwards face. I frowned I hated it when I saw those looks on Jasper and now Edward. But I had to stay strong and I kept on with the explanation. "So as I went into his room I told him how much him hating me, actually hurt me and then I broke down and started crying." Pain flashed again in Edward's and Jaspers, and I almost smiled at how they did that at the same time, but as I just said I _almost_ smiled, I really wasn't in the mood to smile, there was nothing to smile about at the moment, but if I was thinking this under different circumstances then I was sure that I probably would smile.

I spoke again. "Edward tried to comfort me, and so he hugged me, but then he leaned in and kissed me, and I kissed him back," I looked down in shame, but Jasper wasn't mad at me, no he was very peeved at Edward, and was glaring daggers at him. I couldn't let this break into a fight, they were both in defensive positions, getting ready to attack, but I wasn't done yet so I spoke up. "Wait! I'm not done yet!" at the sound of my voice, they remembered they were in the presence of a human and I could easily get hurt I was near them while they were fighting, so they both instantly calmed down, but they still stared each other down.

"Okay thank you for calming down, now as I was saying. So when I broke away fro Edward I told him that I didn't love him, and that was a big lie." I looked back down and I heard Jaspers sudden intake of breath and then when I looked up at him, he flashed me a breathtaking grin and my breath caught. But Jasper looked absolutely crushed, and was about to leave the room I could see but I stopped him and gave him a look that told him I was not done. He sat back down and I continued.

"The thing is I can't possibly choose between you two, you're both absolutely wonderful people, inside and out, and there is no way I could just pick one of you. I love you Edward, and I love you too Jasper." As I finished they both smiled at me and I smiled back at them, but they glared at each other. This time I really did laugh. I felt so much better now that I got that off my chest. When I stopped laughing the feel of the room was awkward again. I didn't know what to say or what I was going to do now that I finally admitted my feelings, of loving to guys. So what was I supposed to do in this situation? Well I decided since the rest of the family was dealing with the nomads that I would have some fun with this.

So I plastered a smile on my face then turned back to face Edward and Jasper, "So who loves me more?" I said in an innocent voice. Both of them jumped up, took each of my hands _carefully _in theirs and then said at the same time "I do!" that was way too funny, words couldn't even describe it and I buckled over in laughter and dropped to the floor. They both looked somewhat annoyed and that just made me laugh even harder. When I eventually calmed myself down, I went and wrapped both of my arms around Jasper's and Edward's necks, I had to stand on my tippy-toes to be able to do this. "Well this should be fun!" I said, and then sat back down, but I was more tired this time. I guess I used up all of my energy for the day. I was emotionally wasted. I frowned I once again wished that I wouldn't get tired so easily, but that would never happen.

Jasper felt my exhaustion, and looked concerned for my rapid mood change. I gave a bitter laugh, that wasn't at all as whole hearted as it was just a moment ago, since I noticed Jasper's not so conspicuous assessment of my well being. "I think I'm going to go lay down. Whose room should I go to?" I asked without turning back around. "You can use mine," Edward said, I was expecting an argument from Jasper but surprisingly let not one peep escape his mouth. I reached up and gave Jasper a tender kiss on his cold, perfect lips than let Edward guide me to his room. When we reached his door he reached down and gave me a feather-light kiss and walked away smirking, for I was scarlet red I walked in his room closed the door behind me and I leaned against it, wow the day really took a turn of events. I was still in my little daze that when I slipped and fell in Edward's bathroom and scraped my ankle I didn't even notice the blood that trickled out of the small wound. The first thought that I had at that moment was _oh no_. Everything happened so fast that I had to really focus if I wanted to catch everything.

So I tried. Jasper and Edward came bursting in my room crouching in front of me trying to protect me from the intruding vampires, Victoria, James and Laurent. James lunged forward and said "She's mine" his eyes were a frightening blood red and filled with the lust for my blood. The same rage and expression was reflected in both Victoria's and Laurent's eyes but somehow, Laurent seemed to be a tad bit controlled than the rest of their little group but was still caught up in his search from my blood. Victoria looked the most wild and out of control I think it was because her hair and her eyes were blazing like a giant fire that got out of control. It was absolutely terrifying and I was just frozen in a state of shock that I didn't even notice that Carlisle was stitching up my wound with neat and unfrosted precision. Apparently my wound was a whole lot bigger than I thought it was, and I could tell both Edward and Jasper were struggling against the temptation of my blood so they went out of the room along with Emmett to battle their coven. However, before they pushed James, Victoria and Laurent out of Edward's room, I noticed a burning sensation unlike no other in my leg….

I couldn't concentrate on anything, I only noticed the burning. It was hell, pure hell and absolutely no one should have to go through it. But I had to stay strong if I was going to die then I would do it quietly, I wouldn't want my screams of agony to be heard by my loved ones, for I didn't want to cause them any more pain than what was necessary and unavoidable. I noticed a white blur and Jasper was in my vision in an instant, not doubt he felt all the pain I was going through, but I still couldn't scream, I especially didn't want to cause Jasper of all people, any pain what's so ever. But I had to tell him why I was being deathly silent and why I was in so much time. But I couldn't get my voice back, I was bobbing in and out of consciousness and when the pain started to get even worse than it was a few minutes ago, I saw a flash of recognition, on Jasper's face directly followed by a look of pure horror and dread. Then he shouted something that was totally unexpected on my part, but I couldn't really make it out from all the pain I was feeling. "CARLISLE THAT SON OF A BITCH BIT BELLA!!" and after that, I couldn't maintain sensuousness anymore and I blacked out, and was plunged into a deep, dark abyss of nothingness that I have felt before.

I still couldn't see anything, it was all dark and the pain…..it was just so much. I felt as if I was being ripped apart then stitched back together again, then this was repeated over and over again, each time the pain got worse and worse and after a bunch of ripping and stitching in one part of my body it went to another part. First it was in my legs like where it started at first. Then it went all over my front side and my arms then I t went to my back and repeated this horrible cycle over and over again. I wished that I could just fall asleep and pretend this never happened, if I could then I would even take death, I was losing my will with every single blast of pain that shot through me. But of course my wish didn't come true and I had to suffer all the pain that kept continuously course through me. Then as if the pain couldn't get any worse, it did. I felt a mild throbbing in my heart and then it went I away I almost sighed a sigh of relief, almost. Because right after my short moment of no pain it came back at full force. I know I screamed this time, it was so much worse than all the other parts of my body, it was as if my heart was being burned over a scolding flame and ripped apart at the same time then it would also be very slowly and painfully stitched together., my heart beat erratically and the pain only intensified by ten-fold. Then the beating got slower and slower and the pain started to dim. It flared up one last time then my beating heart stopped all together.

There was relief. I could finally feel something besides pain. I opened my eyes and saw faces. Esme, Jasper, Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie and Alice, but there was no Edward. I furrowed my brow why wasn't he here? Then I found my voice and asked something that I needed to know. "What the hell happened to me?" I asked and to my surprise my voice sounded like bells and it was as irresistible as Jasper's or Edwards. Carlisle spoke this time. "Bella, you are a vampire now, you have been transforming for three days now and that's what all that pain was, though you only screamed towards the end I am very surprised and impressed." I could hear him perfectly and it was loud and clear, also the way I saw things was just beautiful I could see and hear every single detail of everything. I nodded then sat up and turned to Jasper he looked very grateful and filled with pride and love shown in his eyes but there was also a great sadness deep within his amber eyes.

I decided now was a good time to ask where Edward was. "Jasper, where is Edward?" as I said that everyone's faces turned sullen and they looked hopeless, I frowned I just wanted to know where he was. Quietly everyone left the room to give me and Jasper some alone time. Then he slowly spoke, "Bella Edward, h-he has passed, in the battle he was holding on to James and had to through both of them into the fire to kill him, unfortunately he had to also sacrifice himself in order to save you, the other two vampires got away before we could kill them what he said be fore he… passed on was that he loved you with all of his heart and that you deserve the best, I'm so very sorry, all of us are in mourning for this terrible event, but Bella I swear you will always have me and I will be with you till the end of time."

He grabbed my hand but when he said that Edward died I nearly crumpled I ignored all the other things he said and his thoughtful touch because I was so broken, I just admit my hidden feelings for him and he dies. I was filled with pain that was far more worse than the transformation, and to my deep surprise water was feeling my tear ducts, and I began to feel the familiar faint feeling before I was plunged into the all too familiar darkness, this was too much pain one needed to handle, emotionally and physically, so my body reacted and I was overwhelmed by the darkness that overcame me. The last thing I remember was Jasper looking very frightened and yelling my name. But I could not hear him I could not hear anything, all was blank a song that wasn't finished a story that lost its inspiration, a never-ending poem, or a blank canvas that someone never even dared to paint. Yes I was plunging into the darkness and the taste of ink was definitely bitter.

**A/N I know I killed Edward! But I just had to. If I didn't then the rest of the story that I have planned won't work out. The title is based on the song 'the taste of ink' by the used. If you listen to it, it might make more sense of why I chose that song and why it goes with the story, I posted the link to my playlist on my profile if you want to check out the song. I'm sorry this a/n is so long! Well review, review!**


	9. Miserable At Best

Disclaimer: I own nothing

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

Chapter 9

Miserable At Best

I was stuck in the all too familiar darkness that has come to greet me after every unfortunate episode I have been in for the past few months. I was starting to think that there really wasn't a purpose for my life, that it was just some miserable excuse for something to take up space on this planet. Of course I wasn't plunged into my thoughts for long for there were voices swirling around me. I could hear them with perfect clarity of course, but I didn't want to hear them, at this moment, this point in time, I really didn't care anymore. With Edward being dead I felt as if I had nothing to live for anymore. Just repeating the unfortunate happening to Edward cut me deeper than anything else I have ever experienced in my entire life, it was way worse than the pain from my transformation. It may have been less painful physically….but emotionally, I felt as if I would breakdown into a deep depression any minute now.

The voices around me were getting louder as I started focusing in on them more. "Bella! Please Bella wake up honey." Said the frantic voice of Jasper, it didn't sound the same to me anymore not that it wasn't as beautiful as it was before, in fact it probably sounded much more better since I was a vampire now. It really was still the most beautiful thing to me with my enhanced hearing. But that wasn't the point; it was that since Edward…passed on. The thought cut me but I kept on, since that I felt as though I was missing a whole part of me, nothing could make it better, or patch the gaping emotional hole inside of me. Not even Jasper. Sure he could make it more bearable but the thought, the whisper of pain that is with me now, will be with me for the rest of my existence.

The next voice was Carlisle's. "I don't _think _you should worry about Bella Jasper. She should be perfectly fine, though I'm not one hundred percent sure, I have never seen this happen before" then like one of the other times I fainted while human Alice said how much time was left before I would wake up in a daze. Though this time her voice didn't hold that playful spark that was present, she sounded so broken….so empty. "She will wake up in 27 seconds" and then I heard light dancer's footsteps, and I assumed she left the room.

A few moments after that my eyes opened and I sat straight up at a speed that surely would have made me dizzy had I been human. Jasper and Carlisle were the only ones in the room, but like before when I first woke up from the change Carlisle left the room and it was just me and Jasper. Jasper came over and took my hands in his he looked straight into my eyes, and I his. His eyes were filled with remorse, for Edward….Anger, those who were responsible for Edward….and lastly there was hope, hope for me to come back to 'life' before he crumpled too. He needed me and I needed him, we needed each other to get through this long bumpy road. Jasper didn't need to say it but I knew what was going through his mind right now, 'when will I have my Bella back?' We were still staring into each others eyes. I saw the horrible blood red irises of my own in his deep gold ones, so I looked away. I wouldn't be able to stand the look of my eyes, for it reminded me of Edwards's killers. Yet in some sick way, knowing that his killers had the same red eyes as I had, I felt connected to Edward, knowing that the last thing to see him had red eyes like mine.

Jasper spoke up after an immeasurable moment of him staring at me, me staring out the window. He was calculating what to do next, me trying to just keep composed. He was thinking of what to say and how to approach me, I wasn't even thinking at all. Finally Jasper decided what his approach would be and he spoke very softly, but unlike my times being human I didn't have to strain to hear what he said, I could hear him loud and clear. "Bella…" he spoke softly. Before I could even register what was happening, I was out of the room and running so fast I felt as if I was literally flying. Somehow Jasper knew not to follow me this time. He didn't know if I would come back, but he would definitely hope.

I gave my entire being into running, just concentrating on the silent, smooth sound of my feet just barely touching the ground. I focused on the sound of my hair lithely blowing from the speed of my running. I also noted the feeling of just running, it was so freeing, so relaxing, and it gave me just the least bit of relief that I yearned for. If the situation wasn't so dire then I'm sure this would have made me happy. I think I was running for at least a good hour or so, running this long would have made any human tired and gasping for breath, but I felt perfectly at ease, well not perfectly at ease concerning the situation. I decided to stop running and with my luck, there was a small cottage of some sort. I listened in and heard no heartbeat or any sign of breathing so I assumed that it was deserted and I made my way gracefully inside it.

The small house was fully stocked. It had a nice kitchen, not that I would have any intent of using it, a full sized living room that was a comforting beige color, like Esme's and Carlisle's room. It was only a one floor house and there was one bedroom down the hall with a queen sized bed and then there was a bathroom across the hall from that. I waltzed into the kitchen and sat at one of the chairs that were near the counter. I then noticed that there was a crumpled piece of paper on the counter. My curiosity was perked when I saw that so I reached over and grabbed the little piece of paper and looked at it, the crumpled little note smelled of Edwards scent. I gasped and closed my eyes, this was starting to be too much, my hear felt as if the gaping hole in my chest was tearing and getting deeper and filling me with sadness. I opened my eyes and I knew how I must have looked, I looked like someone just stabbed me over and over again, I was broken, shattered completely like some worthless piece of glass and there was nothing that would put me back together again at this rate. I looked down again at the little paper that was folded in my hands, took a deep unneeded breath of air and opened it, with a note in Edwards perfectly near calligraphy hand writing that made my heart shatter.

_Bella,_

_While you are reading this as you know I am already dead. I am deeply and truly sorry for all the pain that this is causing you. I wish I could just take it away by sweeping you up in my arms. I know this is hard for you Bella believe me. But I had to do what I needed to do. If I didn't get a hold of James and put him in the fire then he would have go after you Bella. And I could not let that happen, no matter the consequences, I needed to keep you safe. Bella you are by far the most important thing to me, you're so precious and your soul is so pure. I am so happy that I got to experience your love, even if it was for the briefest of time. Just know Bella that I am always watching over you, when you smile I am smiling with you, when you are having pain I am right there experiencing you pain with you trying to find away to make you smile with you. When you are feeling lonely, I am there wrapping my arms around you. Bella I will be there with you always, I never believed in angels but that was before I met you. Just remember that I will always love you. Remember Jasper will always protect you no matter what, and tell him that I always thought he was the perfect one for you he is the only one that loves you like I do, take care of him, as he will for you._

_Forever and always,_

_Edward _

I shattered, completely and totally. The little note that was the last piece I had left of Edward, I held to my chest and I dropped to the floor. I didn't cry, no. What I did was just sit there, for I don't know how long but I just stared ahead at the rest of the little cottage. Then after another immeasurable moment a lone tear finally made its way down my porcelain face and dropped onto the floor which made an audible sound in which were followed by dozens of unstoppable little _drips_ and _drops_ of my tears hitting the hardwood floors. My tears were coming freely and were unstoppable, I felt as if nothing mattered anymore. I wanted to wish for death and end all this misery and join Edward where ever he is. Then I found two flaws in what I wanted. The first one was that if I killed myself or even thought of doing so then Jasper would be crushed and even more devastated than I was right now, Jasper's pain cut me deeper than my own. Like a thousand knives just coming straight at me, so that definitely was not an option for me.

The second flaw would be that Edward would be very disappointed if I gave my life away just for him; I knew he wouldn't want that.

Instead of wishing for death to take me I wished for something else entirely. I wish I had time, just a little more time with him, just to hear him say he loved me one more time, just to have him wrap his cool muscular arms around me one more time. I grabbed the crumple piece of paper and held it to my heart, Alice told him what would happen to him and told him to write the note and put it here. I will forever be grateful to Alice for that. It may have not exactly given me the closure I needed because the hole will never be healed but, I understand that and will live with it. I must have become a masochist when I turned into a vampire since I didn't want closure, and I wanted to deal with the pain of Edward not being by my side, I just wanted a reminder of Edward. The pain would be my reminder, he had suffered more pain than I have and I wanted to make sure I would tuff it out and face my own pain. Then the emotional knife that I was balancing on just slid deeper and deeper into my heart. Alice knew. That vision she had when I was in the room with Edward and Jasper that was the sadness that flashed across her face. She told Edward what would happen when I was transforming. When I figured out what Alice did I was suddenly furious with her.

The tears that I once had a few minutes ago were completely dried up, and forgotten; now I was turning my pain, sadness and remorse into anger, and it was directed at Alice. I knew that it wasn't fair to take this out on Alice, it wasn't fair at all, but I needed some way to vent my anger of the vampires that took away Edward from me and all the pain that it had caused me. With that thought I tucked the note safely into my pocket and got up off of the floor. I turned and quite literally flew out of the house and made my way back to the Cullen's mansion. This time running back gave me a sense of adrenaline, I was starting to accept what happened. It may have only been the very first stage of acceptance, but it was definitely progress. I don't think I will ever be able to get over Edward; we may have not had much time together but the whole time I knew that we connected in a special way, it was like Jasper yet so different.

With Edward it was like he really saw into my mind, and knew what to do and what to say, he was overprotective but that just showed how much he cared about me. Then Jasper, we had more time together and he knows exactly what to do to make sure I am happy and always smiling, but when I would be sad he would always have the shoulder that I could cry on. I smiled a little bit while I was running. I didn't even concentrate on where I was going, it was almost as if I was drawn to them and could pin point them anywhere, or maybe it was just Jasper that I could do that with, but whoever it was it helped me fine their house from how ever miles away, I wasn't exactly sure how far I had gone. It took me 10 minutes flat from where I started to get to the Cullen's house. I was going to take my anger out on Alice. She saw the vision; she could have done something to help, and something that would avoid the situation ending up in Edward's…death.

When I got to the front porch, it was strange how my personal high just evaporated into thin air and the unnecessary anger for Alice came back to me at full force. "Alice" I whispered, I knew she would hear me the same if I yelled it, but I didn't want her to think anything was wrong, but she probably saw what I would do anyway, so my efforts were most likely pointless in the end. My assumptions appeared to be correct and she came down with a calm expression plastered on her face. She obviously saw what I was going to say, I was about to speak up but she simply put her hand up signaling me to be quiet.

"Bella, don't. Just don't. I know you may think that I must have wanted him dead, but that's not true. I loved Edward more than you ever could. We have been together for 80 years and I have loved him relentlessly even though I knew that would change when we met you. I didn't tell anyone about the vision I had because everyone would be worrying about Edward and more of my family would have died. I told Edward about this and he told me it was okay and that he had to do what he had to do. I told Edward to leave a note in that cottage because I saw you going there in one of my visions. I only wish he could have felt the same way about me as I did him, but besides that I have no regrets. Please don't give me your pity Bella, I really don't need it. When I leave tonight don't follow me, I will be back but I need time."

With that being said she gracefully disappeared from my view, without a sound.

I stared after her before I went into the house. I ran straight to Emmett's room and knocked on his door I needed a big brother right now, and I knew that he would be the one to help me. He opened the door and let me in. I sat on his burgundy couch and put my head in my hands I turned to him. "Emmett do you think you could just stay with me for awhile? I really need a big brother right now." I said quietly, I didn't know what he would say, if he would turn me away or comfort me so I put my head back in my hands and waited. He came over to me and wrapped his big arms around me, I turned and buried my head into his chest and just cried. I cried for what I had lost, I cried for what I wished, and I cried for what should have happened. The whole while, when I was ruining his shirt he just rocked us back and forth and rubbed soothing circles on my back. I cried for hours but Emmett still stayed and he comforted me. I really was grateful for Emmett he was the best brother anyone could have and I was even luckier that he was the one here with me. My sobs finally started to quiet down and I sniffled a little before I pulled away and gave him a small half smile. "Thanks Emmett for being here with me, I'm sorry that I ruined your shirt." I don't know if he actually caught the double meaning of my words, because while I was saying that I was thinking 'I'm sorry for ruining your family'. I really was sorry it seemed as if I was some kind of natural disaster, unavoidable and makes destruction wherever its path leads.

"Bella you have nothing to be sorry for, you did nothing wrong, I never want you or anyone in our family to feel the way you do Bella, besides you're my little sister and I'm your big brother, we need to help each other out." Then he gave me a smile and I smiled back. At least if I'm going to be miserable Emmett will help me out. "Emmett I don't know if anyone has told you this, but you really are a big teddy bear in the inside." He smiled, triumphant that he could make me laugh. "No! I'm definitely not a teddy bear," he broke off his sentence then whispered in my ear "well don't tell anyone, besides has anyone told you that you're a real squirt?" he asked in a teasing tone. It made me laugh and I playfully hit his chest then got up and was at the doorway when I turned around and said, "Thanks Emmett, really you're the best teddy bear a girl could ask for." He smiled then waved me off with saying "Yeah and you're the best squirt a big brother could ask for." He smiled at me then I headed off. At least when I'm miserable I will have Emmett to make me better. With that positive thought in my head I don't think anything will make me miserable at best anymore, and I headed off to my and Jasper's room I knew we needed to work things out but I needed to rest first.

**A/N well I finally got the chapter up! Sorry it took so long but I was really busy and blah blah blah. So the chapter's title is based on the song Miserable At Best by Mayday Parade ad you can listen to it from my playlist which the link is on my profile. Well that's all I have to say so keep reviewing! **


	10. Don't Let Me Fall

**Disclaimer: Anger is red, sadness is blue. I don't own Twilight so you can't sue! : P **

Chapter 10

Don't Let Me Fall

I took a good deep breath then knocked on Jasper's door. "Come in." he said, his voice soft as silk and smooth as honey, I never realized how much I could miss it, I was immediately struck with a pang of guilt. How could I cause so much pain to this wonderful being? I cautiously walked in his room. He must have felt the immense guilt and fatigue come off of me for he said, "Bella it's not your fault, it's not anyone's, but we can talk about this later, you need to sleep." His voice was so warm and comforting, yet there was still that tinge of sadness coloring his tone. He wasn't facing me though; he was actually turned towards the window, painting, I didn't know he could paint; it was blue, different kinds of blue, light and dark. Then in the other side there was a girl, she was covering her face, and she too was made with a mixed assortment of different shades of blue. I wasn't going to ask what it meant…. not yet. I had a feeling of what it meant, but I would ask him later.

I walked towards Jasper and gave him a feather light peck on his smooth cheek, he brought his hand up to where I kissed it, but I didn't look for his expression for I was already heading towards the huge four poster bead in the opposite corner of the room. I laid down, and gave a small sigh of contentment and relaxed into the soft flannel fabric of his pale blue comforter, when I head hit the pillow I was already asleep. Being I vampire enhanced all of my senses I knew that, the sight, the hearing, the speed, but what I didn't know was that it enhanced my dreams. It was so vivid I was sure that it was real.

It started out nicely little did I know that would soon change. I was in my old room in Charlie's house, reading pride and prejudice for the hundredth time, when I heard a movement outside, it was the crack of a twig, but I still heard it. I got up from my bed and walked down the hall, without the even glimpse of grace and balance, I got to the stair case and walked down where the eerie floorboards, made that ghastly creaking noise like in horror movies. The hair on the back of my neck started to stand up, but I kept going. When I got downstairs I looked around, everything seemed to be perfectly fine and calm. The kitchen, still slightly cramped. The family room, ESPN was on the TV the volume was very low so I couldn't hear it. Charlie was nowhere to be found. That was the only thing that seemed to be misplaced but I didn't dwell on that for long. I decided to check outside, when I went through the door, the cold winter air came to greet me, and it was even chillier due to the fierce blowing wind that whipped past my face. There was an eerie texture to the situation I was about to go back inside and try to forget about what was happening when, I heard another twig snap and I turned around to see what it was.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" I called in a hoarse voice due to the rising fear that was starting to take over me. There was no answer but there was another snap, which I turned around to come into view with Jasper and Edward, blank looks set upon their faces, they stared back at me with cold, hard, eyes that were pitch black, not the warm golden color that I have grown accustomed to. "Jasper…Edward..," I whispered, in a soft voice, that was colored with disbelief and fear. What had happened to them? I walked towards them, neither mad any approach to come near me, I reached for them, but they got farther and farther away with each of my advances. "NO!" I screamed as I started to walk faster and faster which started to turn into a brisk run. Tears were beginning to brim around my eyes, and I screamed and reached for them again, but they both kept moving away from my reach. I finally broke down and started panting and breathing heavily, my hands were on my knees and I was bent over, trying to calm myself down. When my breathing became regular and steady I looked back up to the men I loved. "Why?" my voice came out weak, barely audible to my own ears, but I knew they heard me though they didn't give me an answer. Everything was calm, quiet. The tension was building, something had changed. I knew it I could feel it. When I looked at them again they were gone. I stared at where they once were and a small tear dripped from my tear ducts. I shook my head. No, this was not the time to start crying, as I stared again where they once were, they appeared again.

I walked smoothly, yet briskly towards them, and they didn't back away this time. I _almost_ breathed a sigh of relief. Right when I reached them there was a big puff of smoke, I waved my hand away from it trying to get the smoke out of my irritated eyes. When the area was clear of smoke, where Edward and Jasper once was James and Victoria appeared. James had a sick smile on his face, he was going to kill me I could feel it, and Victoria would help him. He started closing in on me and I tried to back away, but my attempts were fruitless since Victoria snatched my arms and made me stay put. I looked back at James and he still had that evil gleam in his eye. He came closer to me and used his index figured to lift my chin up so he could properly see my face. I struggled, trying to get away from this monster, but Victoria's hold made restraints around my torso and I couldn't move. James clicked his tongue, reprimanding me.

"Now there, you weren't trying to escape from me were you? I sure hope not for the sake of your beloved Jasper you wouldn't want what happened to Edward to happen to him to would you? I still have no clue why either of them would want to waste their time with you; after all you are just a pathetic human." He dropped his hand and turned away. What he said burned a hole right through my chest, he was completely right. Why would either of them want me, it still made no sense. Everything was quiet again and James tensed, his fists clenched. "I wish I could kill Jasper the way I killed Edward, just for the fun of it, to make you suffer." He sneered, and his voice wasn't even the least bit smooth and comforting, it was a voice that made all the little nerve endings hyperaware and made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Then James looked up at me again, sick smile still in place. "Actually that's exactly what I'm going to do, its not like you could stop me."

I saw red, and anger and adrenaline pulsed through me, no one was going to hurt Jasper. After losing Edward, no one was even going to think about getting close to Jasper. I pushed passed Victoria, I don't know how I summoned that strength to do so but I did and the shock was etched on to her cat like features. I walked to James and grabbed his neck and pushed him up against the tree. "No one is going to hurt Jasper, not if I can help it" I spoke in a calm voice which made is sound all the more lethal. He didn't look surprised one bit, and that angered me further. He noticed this and smirked. "When I do kill Jasper," he continued on without even paying attention to notice the furious glare placed upon my face. "I want you to avenge him, I know you wont be able to beat me and I would love to see the face of pain come across your face when I make you suffer a slow and painful death" the sick smile came upon his face once again, I couldn't see my vision was filled with red and James burst into flames. "No one will hurt Jasper" I whispered as I watched the pain come across his face and I filled with pride, knowing that I did that and that I inflicted the pain that caused his death. Victoria screamed her voice was hoarse and not attractive at all, she came after me but once again she stopped dead in her tracks and burst into flames as well. I looked down at the pile of ashes at my feet and smelled the thick incense that coated the air. "For you Jasper, I will keep you safe…always." I breathed.

I felt like I was being shaken and I heard Jasper's sweet voice that was once again filled with concern, I felt love fill inside me, knowing that I could save him. "Bella wake up!" wake up? I was asleep? It all felt so real, and the fury I felt was worse than anything I have ever felt by ten fold. My eyes fluttered open to see my angel staring back at me, his honey eyes filled with worry, his smooth blond hair falling into his eyes, how beautiful he was, and he was mine. I stared at him and put my hands on his face, just to make sure this beautiful creature really was here and wasn't a figment of my imagination. I sat up and combed my hands through Jasper's soft golden hair. "I love you Jasper" I whispered in my soft voice. I know Edward would have wanted me to be happy, and as it said in his letter, Jasper was the better choice for me, I was beginning to think what he said was true, and I was going to let Jasper prove it.

Jasper wrapped his firm muscular arms around me and buried is face in my hair, "I love you to, Bella, more than everything, more than anyone" I smiled, a real genuine smile, I couldn't believe that after all I have done, when I left. I knew he thought I wouldn't come back. When I cried, it hurt him so much to feel my pain, and I was truly sorry for that. "Thank you Jasper." I said my voice filled to the brim with gratitude, love and thankfulness. "What for?" he asked. Curiosity was clear behind his voice. "For loving me," then without even stopping and thinking on what to do I grabbed his head and brought my lips to his. The kiss was filled with so much passion and love. It was sweeter than anything just to have my lips connect with his soft ones. I felt like I was on cloud 9 just being with him made me happy. I brushed my tongue against his bottom lip, asking for entrance, to my surprise he obliged. He tasted of vanilla, it was sweet, me exploring the mysterious cavern of his mouth and him doing the same, I felt safe wrapped in his arms.

After and immeasurable moment we broke apart. We smiled at each other and then my smile slowly faded and I sighed. We still needed to talk about things first I would have to tell him about my disturbing dream. My frown deepened, I really did not want to tell him, but I had to. "What's wrong Bella?" came the confused voice of Jasper. I sighed again and spoke softly, "We need to talk." He chuckled, and I pouted what was so funny about that? He gave me a short peck on my pouting lips. "That's all your worried about? We have all the time in the world to talk." The truth of his words made me crack a smile, we really did have all the time in the world to talk, but I needed to take care of this now and get it off my chest. "We need to talk about this now, Jasper. I want to get it done and over with. Where should we start first?" I said. Though the last part wasn't meant for Jasper to hear, he heard me anyway and answered to the question.

"How about the dream that you had, I have never felt so much hatred and fury directed at something. Also during that, you were giving off a strange red glow, I was going to talk to Carlisle about it but I wanted to stay with you to make sure you would be okay. So where did all that anger come from? Start from the beginning it would be easier for me to help you that way." So I started form the beginning and told him exactly what happened, I told him about James and Victoria, and he stiffened, then I told him how I had that power surge and defeated him, he listened and patiently waited until I spoke again. I also told him about how I did all of that for him, and while I told him this I felt love from him swirl all around me and it mad me feel….happy. When I was finally done with telling him the details of my dream he called the rest of the family into the room to talk about what it might mean. Jasper retold my story to everyone, Esme looked at me out of the corner of her eye with a concerned glance, and Rosalie remained indifferent though I could have sworn I saw even a little worry for me. Emmett was looking like he would rip apart whatever threatened his 'squirt' and then Carlisle remained calm and nodded in understanding with most of the parts. Alice wasn't back yet, but I knew she would come back soon, she just needed time.

When Jasper was done telling my story, Carlisle spoke. "I think this dream has something to do with Bella's powers, somehow I think that this dream has allowed her to access her powers while in a subconscious state." Carlisle seemed satisfied with his theory, and decided that we should test it. Jasper and Emmett came outside with me, to make sure nothing goes wrong while Carlisle Esme and Rosalie watched from the porch. "Try to think back on a strong memory or emotion and see if it awakens your power again," Carlisle had said before we came outside. So as I was standing in the middle of the yard, I thought of all the pain I felt yesterday when I discovered Edward's letter. After I thought of that a tear slipped from my eye and unlike the red from my dream, I saw blue.

I distantly heard shuffling and heard Emmett whisper "Whoa she's blue. She was freaky as a human and now she's freaky as a vampire." Followed by his statement I heard a loud _smack _and Emmett mutter a 'ouch' and assumed that Jasper had smacked him. If I wasn't so absorbed in my power then I would have laughed. It started to get cold, very cold. Ice started covering the ground and there was wind and ice blowing, but all I saw was the blue that was covering my vision, just like in my dream or nightmare if I was really being honest with myself. After ice had covered everything I began to feel fatigued, the blue slowly wiped away from my eyes and I fell down, Jasper was right there in a second picking me up and holding me close to him. Carlisle was amazed, even though his perfectly controlled expression said otherwise. I still wasn't sure why I could know these things but I would dwell on that later, since right now I was still shaken by my power and what happened, so I would talk to Carlisle about that tomorrow.

Jasper carried me back to our room and sat us down on the floor. I looked back up at him then the painting that he did earlier, "Nice painting, Jasper. I wish it wasn't so sad, I like to see you happy." I said my voice was filling with emotion; I wasn't sure why it was just a simple statement. I shook my head, "Emmett was right, I was freaky as a human and now I'm freaky as a vampire to, plus I have a major case of bi polar disorder now to." I said the last part mostly to myself and Jasper laughed since he heard it. "I wouldn't worry too much about that Bella, besides…I love you just the way you are, freaky self and all." I laughed a little and playfully punched him, but since I was still stronger than him since I was a newborn, it actually hurt him and he grunted a 'ow that was mean' and turned away from me. I just stared at him for a moment before cracking up, then yellow covered my eyes, and I felt a huge wave of happiness shoot out of me, and then everything was clear again. This time using my power didn't make me tired anymore.

Little by little I was starting to get used to my freaky self. I felt a strong presence, like someone was coming. On cue the door burst open and there was Alice. I stared at her for only a moment then rushed towards her and wrapped my arms around her small body, "I'm glad your back Alice." She smiled and hugged me back then whispered, "I brought a mirror since you still haven't seen yourself yet I think you just about give Rosalie a run for her money, and I like your power, it's really cool." She smiled at me again then pushed me in front of the mirror. I gasped in shock; I really did give Rosalie a run for her money. Staring back at me was a tall statuesque looking women, with curves in all of the right places, with cascading chocolate brown hair that went to the middle of her back, she really was the pure essence of beauty, and I couldn't believe that the figure that was looking back at me, was me. It truly was mind boggling.

Jasper came and wrapped his arms around me; I looked in the mirror again to see two beautiful people looking like a couple straight out a fairytale movie. I relaxed into our embrace and I turned to Jasper and gave him a soft sweet kiss onto his lips, to show him all the love I felt for him in that small action of affection. Jasper smiled at me as I, him. I silently thanked Edward for leaving that letter, for without it I wouldn't realize how special Jasper was to me. "Jasper?" I called he seemed a little distracted for he was skimming his nose along my collarbone but he looked up nonetheless "Hmm?" was his brilliant response, I laughed then came serious and he stiffened by my sudden change of emotion "Jasper, Don't let me fall." He relaxed and his arms tightened around me. "Never"

**A/N woo! Another chapter up theres a little angst and then some cuteness all mixed in one :). Okay so first off the title is based on the song Don't let me fall by Lenka and its on my playlist. Now on to the good stuff, so I bet you have some questions on Bella's power so I'm going to explain it. The first one where she kind of has a sense of what is always going on and everyone's actions and whatever, well that was because she was very perceptive as a human so she has like a sixth sense which tells her that. The second power was because when she was human she let her emotions affect her a lot, so with the power was that if she feels very strongly about something then it will affect her actions, like with the fire and the ice, and the happiness. This doesn't work for all of her emotions though only if she feels very strongly about a certain thing. I think that should answer most of that, concerning Bella's power but if you have any other questions then feel free to PM me. Okay I'm sorry this A/N is so long :) and lastly, I want at least 5 reviews before I write the next chapter, that's not asking for too much is it? So you know the drill review review and review! **


	11. Its a Dilemma

Important Authors note

Dear readers/reviewers etc,

I am deeply sorry for neglecting this story Sunrise, being honest it really wasn't my intention, I was trying to update everyday or at least once every week but, once again being honest, I ran out of ideas to make the story flow in an interesting way, until I can think of a good one to carry this story on Sunrise will on hiatus, so please if anyone has any ideas on what the next chapter should be about please leave a review or PM me, so once I again I really am sorry about this, but I'll try as best as I can to come up with something.

Sincerely,

Unicorn Slayer Goddess


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